I have been reading through your messages (thoughts) for the past 2 hours and came across this one, wrote less than a year after you left us. It always makes me smile and cry. Wanted to share it again. From Jarrod: Hey Gram, its 5:35 in the morning on a "scoo" night and i cant sleep. I've been thinking about you on and off for about the past week now, but tonight really got to me. It took me forever to get on here, i had to dig through my inbox to find the link, and then i didnt have an account so i had to keep trying to guess mom's password so i could get on hers. it took me about a billion tries but then i think you finally helped me out and i got it :) Gosh gram i miss you so much. it hurts so bad. i know i dont visit on here very often, but i visit you in my heart everyday, you know that. I have a song that reminds me so much of you, i put it on all my cd's and everytime i hear it i look up at you and blow you a kiss. its one of those rap songs that you always thought i was crazy for listening to. Gosh gram as the days go by there just more and more that reminds me of you, i need the bottom of my jeans sewed, i seen a part of Dirty Dancing on tv the other day, and i made eggs for breakfast this morning...all of which made me think of you. i thought this was supposed to get easier, its only getting harder. were having your birthday dinner on sunday and i dont want to go at all. its going to be so hard, god i dont even want to think about it. and now i know moms gonna call me first thing in the morning to yell at me about it, but i know if you were here youd argue against her with me, and be on my side like always :) i bet she calls me by 10:00, i know she checks this all the time. i think that makes it hurt even worse. i see how much she writes on here, and how much she misses you, and how much she loves you. I see everyone write on here gram... mom, aunt shelly, lissy, aunt becky, aunt debbie. We all love you so much gram its crazy. i wish you were so i could tell you. its so weird not raking your yard this year, i wonder if mom will ask me to do it anyways. I remember you would always try to beat me to it and get it done before i had the chance, youd rake and mow all of remus if mom would let you, i dont know why but you loved it. gosh i just sit here and think about you and more and more things keep popping into my head, its like they'll never stop. i think i'll be able to sleep now though, so thanks for listening. i miss you so much gram its unreal. and i love you even more. Goodnight. (((((HUGS)))) *****KISSES*****