I can't believe it's been almost 2 months Mom. The pain of losing you doesn't get any easier. I still don't believe you are gone. You're not here...we don't see each other, call each other, you're not at your house, but yet I just can't seem to really believe you are gone. It still just doesn't seem real. I miss you so much and everything around me reminds me of you. There is a part of you in everything I see and do, reminders all around me. Can you believe I still have a flower...a dead flower on my table from your funeral. Don't know why...I just can't bring it to myself to throw it out. I keep telling myself "I'll do it tomorrow" then tomorrow comes and it still sits there. Kids are doing well Mom. Bryson is talking non stop and every day he gets busier and busier. Tay is slowly getting better. She ended up going to the hospital on Tuesday to see Dr. Cornelius. He did a complete check up from a shunt study and CT scan, to blood work and urine tests and everything checked out good. She's eating better, if only she'd open up that good eye of hers. Jarrod stopped by earlier. He's doing good too...loving school and living on his own. He's been coming home every weekend. I am so busy missing you, I don't seem to worry too much about him. Today is Kelsey's birthday, yesterday was Lissy's. Gab had one last week. So many grand kids you have...every month is a birthday or two. Daycare is going ok Mom, Michelle comes over every day to help out. Not that I really need the help with the kids.. It's more the company I need. Oh Mom, I know it's been less than 2 months but will I ever accept or believe you are gone? I miss you so very much! I wish none of this ever would have happened and I can't help but to ask myself 'if I just would have taken you to the Dr when your voice first got hoarse would you still be here with us today'? I'll always wonder that. If I only would have acted faster or did something different. I miss you and love you so much Mom! ((((Hugs)))) ****Kisses****