Morning Mom...here I sit, drinking coffee out of your cup =) Sooo love doing that ya know. A lot on my mind, Mom. Hoping coming here helps. I can not believe this past year Mom and I know you or no one else can tell any of us WHY!!!! I do know my Faith is starting to break though. Whatever the hell lessons are to be gained/taught/learned...whatever 'strength' God thinks he is showing us can't happen when it's at the cost of a child. It is clearly doing the opposite ya know?? ...to EVERYONE!!! There is not a single thing I could ever do or say to fix that....for any of them. I am afraid they are broken forever...I know I would be. And then of course there's the many 'thoughts'.... hmmmm. So WHY was I introduced to these 3 families all within one year and in the same year have THIS happen....to ALL 3 of them?? I'm looking for the reason Mom because you always said to me 'things happen for a reason'. So I ask myself....WHY almost one year ago to the day were we all brought together?? I look back at what a HARD year Taylor had, I look at her recent scan...knowing that this upcoming year could even be HARDER for her and then I think....is THIS the reason?? Is THIS why I was connected to them??? I can't do what they do Mom, I can't go thru what they are going thru Mom....I CAN'T so IF God even listens to a thing I say....a thing I pray for (cuz I'm beginning to wonder if he is at all tuned into me, I prayed for THEM just as hard as I prayed for YOU when you were sick and just as hard as I pray for Taylor) you make sure he KNOWS this!!!!! You died on her birthday for a 'reason'...to ALWAYS watch over her, so PLEASE Mom!! I LOVE YOU and I sooooo MISS YOU!!!! (((((((((HUGS)))))))))) *********KISSES***********